December 7th, 2008

(no subject)

Mmm. Had such a lovely weekend that has left me with this strange feeling I get in my stomach sometimes. It's like a real warmth that is resonating from my belly button and outwards. I mostly attribute this feeling to when I've been around Saul as I get it so intensely when we're together. I think it's my body's way of saying I am in love. And I feel all giddy when I think about what it means. I've never really understood how emotions manifest themselves with actual physical feelings, so this is a welcoming introduction to that...

Spent Friday afternoon cooking yummy fish pie for S. We went out for a little dance and had some drunkenness. Came home and fell into bed together, all snuggly and warm. Spent Saturday afternoon wandering around in a love bubble looking at things in shops and generally being silly together. I really am a fan of hand-holding. I know it's not 'much', but it really makes me feel so much more comfortable and warm when I have someone's hand in mine. I bought him a pair of nice pants and a big fluffy jumper for Christmas, which he isn't going to wait for and will be wearing as soon as he can get his hands on it. We had lunch with KT & Rogi and wandered home in the cool afternoon. Watched The First Wives Club and Copycat in the evening and spent the rest of the time having.. bedroom fun! I think my favourite thing is that he makes me laugh so much. I know that I can be quite a serious person sometimes, just in my general interests. I am into quite melancholic folky music (I rarely listen to anything like uplifting dance music!), I like thriller films and documentaries, I read harrowing biographies and I don't generally like comedies. So it's nice that someone is bringing some humour into my life and reminding me to not take everything too seriously. Today we went on the best, longest walk ever! Right up over the south downs. It was SO beautiful - absolutely no wind (which is what makes it so cold on the coast), bright blazing blue sky. We walked through this beautiful little village and I had my Graveyard Moment (mmm, dead people), before we took the long walk back along the seafront. We found a beautiful little bit of beach littered with huge rocks. Sat together out in the sea, arms around each other just chatting comfortably and looking out into the endless water. Moments like that I want to remember foreverrrrrr.

I know. To you, the reader, this is all so gross! But I have to write these things down now as I don't have a camera (it's being repaired). It is just as harrowing as I thought not having my camera. Every moment I am usually so obsessed with recording is passing me by and I find it so distressing. For ten years I have been recording things constantly, creating this epic archive of my life through images. And to suddenly not have that is so.. well, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with so much visual imagery that I can't capture and bottle.

Photos from my phone (boo):

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"I'm on fire"

Do any of you know any other great covers of Bruce Springsteen's song "I'm On Fire"?

Bat For Lashes do an amazing cover, as well as Tori Amos. I want moreeeeeeee.